Smile little boy blue...

Smile my little boy blue

Mommy sure misses you

Laughing and giggling 

At the small things you used to

Smile at the funny things

And live to the fullest

Life isn't about crying 

It can be a bore

But don't shut every open door.

Give something a chance 

Even though your scared to death.

Don't settle for less

Because your the best!

Your smile warms the soul

Your happiness is my goal 

I look at you and you remind me

Of how I would really like to be

 So Smile little boy blue

Mommy has learned so much 

From you! Your braveness , 

You courage, your endless idea about

The weather and the way the world spins

I don't even know where to begin. 

Smile my love . You're strength 

Wraps around me like a glove.

Don't give up

Smile little boy blue.. We all love you...

The raw feelings: What I need to say

Well most of the writing I have done was sporadic to this point. Most of it being because family issues, some because I have not had the time to write . I have had time to think over what I  was going to say in here and a lot of it is anger.. I was able to sit and watch something this morning that told me it is ok to grieve a situation... It is OK to be angry and hurt... even If you have faith in God.

My son does not have a terminal disease ... He isn't dying , He is just sick. Most people think that eczema and food allergies are just another condition that is blown out of proportion.  Most people think this is that overprotective mother who wants only organic cheese crackers for their kids or gluten free cookies to make sure their precious little one isn't getting fat of the conventional processed crap most of us eat on a daily basis. But food allergies and eczema can be deadly.. It can kill our little ones.. I cant tell you how pissed off I was when I was blamed for my sons skin! I cant tell you how depressing it was when CPS showed up at my house telling me that I needed to do better.. Fast forward 3 years and my 4 year old son has had two reactions and Had to have his Epi Pen's to save his life! I have begged and pleaded with people to understand where I am coming from and why it is so important to watch what you eat around my child. I am sick of you thinking that I am making it up!! If I made something so serious up then I would be a horrible person.. There is children who have died from this!!

Living a Food allergy Lifestyle is not easy.. It is constantly checking Labels and making foods homemade!! It is waking up to a coughing child with one hive and having an Epi pen close in case you feel they are having a reaction.. It's going to the ER and coming out with paperwork full of steroids so that you won't risk another reaction.. It's going in for skin pricks by the 100's that hurt and sting and then make him itch all over ( the lower back is peanuts) .I have a prayer that one day we can find a cure.. That we can give our little ones a care free life. I am sick of watching my son cry because he can't have a slice of pizza because of the garlic... I feel like a failure that I can't protect him from this.. I am mad I passed on my genetics to him that make him more prone to this. I hate that I love in a constant state of awareness , I want to relax and be able to enjoy life. 

You know what I want.. Better labeling!! This is a picture after eating a simple bowl of cereal that was cross contaminated .. It was not labeled for cross contamination.. But the company could not promise that it was not processed on a line that had nuts or peanuts.. I was enraged... This is my son... Hives burn.. They itch!!! They can't promise to protect my child from dying because they don't want to take the time to label...

This is after a loaf of bread that had a high oat content.. This is before we knew about Oats... 

This is my hell.. This is my life.. This is my son... Maybe if I put a face to this you all will get it... Until then look into his eyes.. Find your soul and help.. Don't just pass him by.. Don't just turn your head.. Respect him if you won't respect me...

How to deal with rude people with your childs food allergies

Well I had thought that I would never have to write this post , but it came true this weekend. Most of my Family and friends know that I am a big advocate of not only rights for children with food allergies, but I also want to bring awareness of the condition.. I am sad to say that some people cant keep their mouths shut... It took place a few months ago and I have been wanting so bad to write about it, but like most stuff that makes me mad... I have to take a few weeks to relax!!

We used go to the corner store to get my daily fix of caffeine( my Starbucks double shot or a cup of soda) . At the time I was standing in Line and Kason is fiddling in a box of reduced price food and candy. He picks up a bag of peanuts and cashews , in which I yank out of his hand and put back into the box and order him to come with me to wash his hands ( as I don't trust anything Nut related). I had him wash his hands and went back into line.. Of course he goes back to the same box and finds a candy bar that contains peanuts and asks for it..

Me: Can you eat stuff with nuts in it?

Kason: No mommy....

Me: What would peanuts and Nuts do to you?

Kason: Make me sick and I will need my Epi Pen

Me : you need to put it down now please...

Kason: ok mommy, can I have another candy?

Me: not right now....

Behind me I hear a scoff

Lady: Jeeze let the poor child have a candy bar!!

Me : Excuse me?

Lady: for Christ sakes let the kid have a candy bar..

Me: well you know what, he has a peanut allergy and this would kill him..

Lady: well if it is that bad, maybe you need to leave him at home..

By this point I am about ready to blow a fuse... I think of a smart remark and let her have it

Me: have you ever seen bubble boy?

Lady: yes....

Me: well then if you can find a way to cure my son or make a model of something that can shield him from peanuts and allergens do it, until then leave your opinion to yourself!

Lady: whatever!!

I walked home scoffing on how rude and wrong it was to be messed with because of his allergies.. But the more I thought of it , the more it made sense.. People really do not get it!! They dont understand Life and death because of foods... Sure a bee sting can kill, but food really? So many people think that food allergies are Just a overreaction of an overprotective parent, or a gastro bug like feeling you get when you eat week old meat ( I've done it) .. But it is more than that !! It's my son being injected with epinephrine . It's me sitting 3 hours in a ER room. Or it's me watching my sweet boy on life support or having to plan a funeral.. It's me having to put a small body in a casket and saying goodbye to the little boy that I have sacrificed my time , blood and life for ... I just wish people would see that.. We have lost over 5 children to food allergies and not one of the major news stations aired it!! Not one!!! 

I could have told the woman off and called her a heartless nobody, I could have educated her a little more.. I didn't do anything.. I was shocked.. It just comes to show how rude people are. My son however has taught me to let go of the small things and smile and live life at its fullest.. I hope one day he will find a kind way of reminding people.. I hope he will grow up with a soft heart and learn to help others.. Until then I will be his mama bear and protect him to the best of my ability..

My Thoughs on Eczema & Food Allergies: Part 3 How our life is now!!

Part 3:

After all the testing and after a few weeks I went through the house removing the last of the foods that we had left with allergens . Kason settled into his new routine with his medicine and his new sense of relief that foods he once was restricted to eat where added back. Now we are In a new world of foods  and recipes. I am cooking a lot more and not using the normal boxed dinner. I am active in my sons life and that is all I ever wanted . Most parents can go out to eat with not issues , but with my son there is few things I can actually feed my son from restaurants. I am active with other mothers what have children with food allergies and hopefully will make the FAAN  walk. I have his plan in actions if something does happen, if the worse should come. We also received another gift in a pediatric allergist about a month ago and I am in love!! I am blessed with the gift of a son who is now mostly eczema free and we don't have to worry about bloody sheets. We can walk around with no questions. We don't live in the ER anymore, we have freedom and fun like nothing at all has ever happened. He can go to places and play like he has no limits. We don't look at a small speech impairment or his allergies as a disability, but what makes my son unique to the world. We knew from the beginning that God was giving me a work of his hands and sometimes that's in the form of a sick child. Its hard to Love life when your child hurts, but you love them even more than it. You would sacrifice anything for them. If i could take it all away I would. His life is testament to why I think that every child no matter the health issue deserves a chance to shine just like he does!! His blue eyes and smile remind me that even with the biggest challenges it take a person strong enough to face them and achieve past what people say is impossible.. 3 years ago they said he would never walk, now he runs. They told me he would never talk , but his favorite thing to say is " I'M hungry!!" They told me that he would never have normal skin, but its as soft and beautiful as it was when he was born.

My Thoughs on Eczema & Food Allergies: Part 2 Reactions, Tests & Results

DISCLAIMER : THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE!!!!! PLEASE TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR OR ALLERGIST. THIS ARTICLE IN NO WAY NEEDS TO BE USED AS MEDICAL ADVICE.




Part 2: 

Before we had Kason fully diagnosed we went through months of wondering. Like mention before in Part 1 we had no idea what was lying ahead of us, we just did what we though was best for our child and what the doctors told us.. After Kason's surgery on his adenoids and tonsils we had noticed that his breathing at night was still raspy and very congested. We assumed it was a Pollen issue and that we would only need testing for seasonal allergens. What we did not expect was when Kason had his allergic reaction to peanuts. I assumed that day his asthma was really bad so I gave him Benadryl and his rescue inhaler. A week we are in the clinic having his RAST ( Radioallergosorbent) test done . I was nervous because we already had so many restrictions with his skin being so bad, foods would cause us even more. Faithfully we went forward and avoided the already known allergy to peanuts. During the time we waited for his results we noticed for the first time in his life his skin did not require the extreme amounts of steroid creams and the snoring once prevalent was now a light muffled snort. Two weeks later we had the results and everything started to make sense. His peanut levels where high like we had thought, but so many other foods where too.. A week later we are back at the doctor with his results and he orders Kason to go see an allergist. After the first visit we where again at a Lab doing another blood test (ICAP) , one that was supposed to narrow down his allergens so we could get what answers we needed. Two weeks  later the same thing happened , another overwhelming amount of foods that we could not feed our sweet boy until we could do the scratch test. About a week after the results we where back with the allergist and he went ahead and ordered the prick test.. I had to wait three agonizing months before we would know for sure what our sweet boy could not eat. In that time we went through a full on anaphilactic response to garlic ( what i thought at the time was the milk) and  I had to give my first epi pen. The weeks became months and it was time to go in for the test. It was laid back and Kason didn't mind it till they poked his back with the racks of the allergens and the hives started to show up.. His back looked like a war zone , hives and red spots.. I was finally given the list and while I was expecting nuts I was taken aback on how allergic he was to all of them.. How many times had I fed him nuts and never knew.. Could that be the reason why his skin was so bad? I was also told not to feed him Oats and Garlic and all nuts and a few others. I was told I could do dairy , but it had to be lactose free. I was thrilled by the release of his once VERY restricted diet. We wjere well on our way to being again able to enjoy the thing that scared me the most.. Food....

My Thoughs on Eczema & Food Allergies: Part 1 ( Before Diagnosis)

DISCLAIMER : THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE!!!!! PLEASE TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR OR ALLERGIST. THIS ARTICLE IN NO WAY NEEDS TO BE USED AS MEDICAL ADVICE.

I am going to do a small series on my thoughts on food allergies. I am going to talk a little about how I figured out that Kason had food allergies and the signs up until it, what happened and what tests they did and what happened post diagnosis..  Like I said above this is not medical advice.. this is simply what we went through..

Part 1:

I had always thought that my Kason was going to be a one of a kind child. Shortly into my pregnancy I had tests run and it came out positive that he would either be down syndrome and or have a mental retardation of some sort.. After extensive testing he was found to be normal and a healthy baby. My pregnancy was complicated from the time I reached 11 weeks. With placenta Previa, the constant bleeds, and the constant labor pains I was constantly in and out of the hospital. I had him at 36 weeks and 5 days ( two days short of being term). He had no issues breathing, eating and keeping his temp high enough.. I think his allergies started the day he was born because of the antibiotics i was given shortly before his birth. I think back on all the articles i read before his birth about antibiotics and the newborn. Newborns have no intestinal flora.. With any antibiotic it crosses into the breast-milk of a mother and can pass onto a baby. What would have been a gut filled with good bacteria was now a gut filled with nothing allowing allergens that otherwise would have been blocked to enter and invade his tiny little body. He started to break out in eczema about the time he was 3 months old. Prior to that he was always fussy and spitting up. When he got to be about 6 months old he had to be on oral steroids and antibiotics constantly which I again think allowed his body not to fight off allergens correctly, instead allowing them to get worse. I feel like his body was too busy fighting off infection than to protect himself from having an allergic reaction.

As he got older and closer to the time he was a year old I think that the eczema played into a lot why he had Microcytic anemia ( a lack of iron causing small and non working red blood cells) and went into failure to thrive. I do also thing the food allergies cause a leaky gut where he was not able to digest the breast-milk because too many allergens existed in my breast-milk. I do however blame the doctors some for not noticing his growth slowing and then stopping all together and not noticing the ailing condition of my son. After he had he breath holding spells we decided to get him help in the end ending up having him with a feeding tube.. Fast forward three months later the boy was on a high calorie diet, starting out on protein powders ( non dairy, soy) and high calorie lactose free milk. He would get vitamins through supplementation and then after awhile started to eat food ( he was about 15 months old at this time) . He was fully on a solid diet and eating foods that at the time I thought where safe. He did very well up until the age of three when he had his first allergic reaction. I had always though he had some sort of allergy to eggs and milk which was why I didn't feed him them. After his allergic reaction i finally talked to his doctor into tests.. 

To be continued in Part 2

First post!! Just a little intro!!

So I decided to take my news on Kason here.. I though that my other blog was being overrun and well cluttered with all the other stuff. I am exited because now Diary of a West Texas mom can be just for the family stuff and this can be all about the food allergies and the eczema !!! I am hopeful like the last few times I will be able to get to blog... I am exited about starting here and will be updating this as much as I can about the going on of food allergy news and what not!! 

Until later....