The raw feelings: What I need to say

Well most of the writing I have done was sporadic to this point. Most of it being because family issues, some because I have not had the time to write . I have had time to think over what I  was going to say in here and a lot of it is anger.. I was able to sit and watch something this morning that told me it is ok to grieve a situation... It is OK to be angry and hurt... even If you have faith in God.

My son does not have a terminal disease ... He isn't dying , He is just sick. Most people think that eczema and food allergies are just another condition that is blown out of proportion.  Most people think this is that overprotective mother who wants only organic cheese crackers for their kids or gluten free cookies to make sure their precious little one isn't getting fat of the conventional processed crap most of us eat on a daily basis. But food allergies and eczema can be deadly.. It can kill our little ones.. I cant tell you how pissed off I was when I was blamed for my sons skin! I cant tell you how depressing it was when CPS showed up at my house telling me that I needed to do better.. Fast forward 3 years and my 4 year old son has had two reactions and Had to have his Epi Pen's to save his life! I have begged and pleaded with people to understand where I am coming from and why it is so important to watch what you eat around my child. I am sick of you thinking that I am making it up!! If I made something so serious up then I would be a horrible person.. There is children who have died from this!!

Living a Food allergy Lifestyle is not easy.. It is constantly checking Labels and making foods homemade!! It is waking up to a coughing child with one hive and having an Epi pen close in case you feel they are having a reaction.. It's going to the ER and coming out with paperwork full of steroids so that you won't risk another reaction.. It's going in for skin pricks by the 100's that hurt and sting and then make him itch all over ( the lower back is peanuts) .I have a prayer that one day we can find a cure.. That we can give our little ones a care free life. I am sick of watching my son cry because he can't have a slice of pizza because of the garlic... I feel like a failure that I can't protect him from this.. I am mad I passed on my genetics to him that make him more prone to this. I hate that I love in a constant state of awareness , I want to relax and be able to enjoy life. 

You know what I want.. Better labeling!! This is a picture after eating a simple bowl of cereal that was cross contaminated .. It was not labeled for cross contamination.. But the company could not promise that it was not processed on a line that had nuts or peanuts.. I was enraged... This is my son... Hives burn.. They itch!!! They can't promise to protect my child from dying because they don't want to take the time to label...

This is after a loaf of bread that had a high oat content.. This is before we knew about Oats... 

This is my hell.. This is my life.. This is my son... Maybe if I put a face to this you all will get it... Until then look into his eyes.. Find your soul and help.. Don't just pass him by.. Don't just turn your head.. Respect him if you won't respect me...