The raw feelings: What I need to say

Well most of the writing I have done was sporadic to this point. Most of it being because family issues, some because I have not had the time to write . I have had time to think over what I  was going to say in here and a lot of it is anger.. I was able to sit and watch something this morning that told me it is ok to grieve a situation... It is OK to be angry and hurt... even If you have faith in God.

My son does not have a terminal disease ... He isn't dying , He is just sick. Most people think that eczema and food allergies are just another condition that is blown out of proportion.  Most people think this is that overprotective mother who wants only organic cheese crackers for their kids or gluten free cookies to make sure their precious little one isn't getting fat of the conventional processed crap most of us eat on a daily basis. But food allergies and eczema can be deadly.. It can kill our little ones.. I cant tell you how pissed off I was when I was blamed for my sons skin! I cant tell you how depressing it was when CPS showed up at my house telling me that I needed to do better.. Fast forward 3 years and my 4 year old son has had two reactions and Had to have his Epi Pen's to save his life! I have begged and pleaded with people to understand where I am coming from and why it is so important to watch what you eat around my child. I am sick of you thinking that I am making it up!! If I made something so serious up then I would be a horrible person.. There is children who have died from this!!

Living a Food allergy Lifestyle is not easy.. It is constantly checking Labels and making foods homemade!! It is waking up to a coughing child with one hive and having an Epi pen close in case you feel they are having a reaction.. It's going to the ER and coming out with paperwork full of steroids so that you won't risk another reaction.. It's going in for skin pricks by the 100's that hurt and sting and then make him itch all over ( the lower back is peanuts) .I have a prayer that one day we can find a cure.. That we can give our little ones a care free life. I am sick of watching my son cry because he can't have a slice of pizza because of the garlic... I feel like a failure that I can't protect him from this.. I am mad I passed on my genetics to him that make him more prone to this. I hate that I love in a constant state of awareness , I want to relax and be able to enjoy life. 

You know what I want.. Better labeling!! This is a picture after eating a simple bowl of cereal that was cross contaminated .. It was not labeled for cross contamination.. But the company could not promise that it was not processed on a line that had nuts or peanuts.. I was enraged... This is my son... Hives burn.. They itch!!! They can't promise to protect my child from dying because they don't want to take the time to label...

This is after a loaf of bread that had a high oat content.. This is before we knew about Oats... 

This is my hell.. This is my life.. This is my son... Maybe if I put a face to this you all will get it... Until then look into his eyes.. Find your soul and help.. Don't just pass him by.. Don't just turn your head.. Respect him if you won't respect me...

How to deal with rude people with your childs food allergies

Well I had thought that I would never have to write this post , but it came true this weekend. Most of my Family and friends know that I am a big advocate of not only rights for children with food allergies, but I also want to bring awareness of the condition.. I am sad to say that some people cant keep their mouths shut... It took place a few months ago and I have been wanting so bad to write about it, but like most stuff that makes me mad... I have to take a few weeks to relax!!

We used go to the corner store to get my daily fix of caffeine( my Starbucks double shot or a cup of soda) . At the time I was standing in Line and Kason is fiddling in a box of reduced price food and candy. He picks up a bag of peanuts and cashews , in which I yank out of his hand and put back into the box and order him to come with me to wash his hands ( as I don't trust anything Nut related). I had him wash his hands and went back into line.. Of course he goes back to the same box and finds a candy bar that contains peanuts and asks for it..

Me: Can you eat stuff with nuts in it?

Kason: No mommy....

Me: What would peanuts and Nuts do to you?

Kason: Make me sick and I will need my Epi Pen

Me : you need to put it down now please...

Kason: ok mommy, can I have another candy?

Me: not right now....

Behind me I hear a scoff

Lady: Jeeze let the poor child have a candy bar!!

Me : Excuse me?

Lady: for Christ sakes let the kid have a candy bar..

Me: well you know what, he has a peanut allergy and this would kill him..

Lady: well if it is that bad, maybe you need to leave him at home..

By this point I am about ready to blow a fuse... I think of a smart remark and let her have it

Me: have you ever seen bubble boy?

Lady: yes....

Me: well then if you can find a way to cure my son or make a model of something that can shield him from peanuts and allergens do it, until then leave your opinion to yourself!

Lady: whatever!!

I walked home scoffing on how rude and wrong it was to be messed with because of his allergies.. But the more I thought of it , the more it made sense.. People really do not get it!! They dont understand Life and death because of foods... Sure a bee sting can kill, but food really? So many people think that food allergies are Just a overreaction of an overprotective parent, or a gastro bug like feeling you get when you eat week old meat ( I've done it) .. But it is more than that !! It's my son being injected with epinephrine . It's me sitting 3 hours in a ER room. Or it's me watching my sweet boy on life support or having to plan a funeral.. It's me having to put a small body in a casket and saying goodbye to the little boy that I have sacrificed my time , blood and life for ... I just wish people would see that.. We have lost over 5 children to food allergies and not one of the major news stations aired it!! Not one!!! 

I could have told the woman off and called her a heartless nobody, I could have educated her a little more.. I didn't do anything.. I was shocked.. It just comes to show how rude people are. My son however has taught me to let go of the small things and smile and live life at its fullest.. I hope one day he will find a kind way of reminding people.. I hope he will grow up with a soft heart and learn to help others.. Until then I will be his mama bear and protect him to the best of my ability..